i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
