dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
