You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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