I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
