My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
