Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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