Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
