Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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