I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
