Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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