Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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