Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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