According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
