please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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