I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize