I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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