...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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