when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
