oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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