mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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