Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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