You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
