in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
