wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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