Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
