After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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