can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
