I got chris browned last night
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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