I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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