I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize