It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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