bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
