So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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