i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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