Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
