Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
