That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
