a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
