found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
