Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
