you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
