dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
