My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
is it fun? or sober?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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