I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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