Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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