To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
