Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
