I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
