i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize