What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize