I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
