sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
