woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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