Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
