I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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