My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
