you guys were way drunker than both of me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
