Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
