Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
