is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i think im in europe. pls send help
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
