i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i dont even know how to be here
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
