Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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