Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
