it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
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