whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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