His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
