Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
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